I was blogging like Boy-Crazy Stacey last week

What is with all the blogs about cute boys last week? I promise you, I am a happily married woman. I honestly have no excuse, I guess I'm just shameless.

So, enough about that. It's time to talk about Breaking Dawn, which I have been reading fairly quickly (I have about a 150 pages to go) but nowhere near as quick as most of the bloggers I read, who have all finished it. I'm going to talk about what I have read so far so I'm going to put a spoiler bar followed by a picture and if you don't want to know anything, DO NOT READ BELOW IT!

**********BREAKING DAWN SPOILER ALERT!******* BREAKING DAWN SPOILER ALERT********

First of all, Holy Crow, there is a lot of stuff going on in this book! A lot of the plot points that I thought would happen at the end as a resolution to the story wound up happening in the first 200 pages. During this part, Bella and Edward get married and go on their honeymoon. They also make the sex, which we read NO DESCRIPTION OF except the before and after. I guess that's what I get for getting into a vampire romance series written by a sweet Mormon lady for teenage girls.

Sometimes I wish that Steph would let her inner Judy Blume out. I'm not asking for porn, but we have waited through 1500+ pages of Bella and Edward making out. I would just like to hear a few details, such as why Edward bit through a pillow or how exactly they broke the bed. I know, I know, young readers, but shouldn't they be kind of grown up by now? As I mentioned earlier, Judy Blume got into some skanky details in her books and those were in my elementary school library. I'm not kidding--I think that America has either gotten way more puritanical since I was young or the adults just aren't quite as oblivious anymore. So, not to sound like I'm Boy-Crazy Stacey, but WTF?

Anyway, just to add to the Don't Have Sex message, Bella gets pregnant. With a half breed.

At this point I was rolling my eyes. Again, WTF, SM? Then I started to see how this could happen. Who would think they could get preggers by having sex with their 108 year old Hubby? Even if he looks like a hot 17 year old, I wouldn't think it was something that could happen. I mean, his heart doesn't beat. He has no blood pumping through his veins. Who would think about birth control? I would be more worried about keeping him from killing me. Yes, yes I know it is a stretch of the imagination to think that Edward could get Bella pregnant, but when it comes down to it, it kind of isn't. She is still a functioning human female and he is a vampire male who is stuck in his sexual prime. Bella points out in the book that she had heard that Charlie Chaplin had babies into his 70s. So, I guess it isn't too crazy. These books are all about stretching your imagination. I think what bothered me more than the fact that she got pregnant the first time she had sex was that this has got to be the most overused Twilight Fan-Fiction plot of all time. But in Breaking Dawn, the way it was written was very believable and absolutely readable.

First of all, Bella gets super sick. The baby is growing rapidly and she can't keep anything she eats down. This is a really hard part to read, and I think Steph realized that it would be beyond depressing written from Bella's perspective, so she writes from Jacob's perspective. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm Team Edward all the way, but I love Jacob. He is really likable and his chapters are really funny (especially the chapter titles). So, Jacob is the one who comes up with the idea of having Bella drink blood because the baby is a little (half) vamp.And she gets better.

But then, she has the baby (after a month of pregnancy) and Edward and Jacob have to deliver it, which includes Edward biting through the hard shell (a la vampire skin) to get the baby out (this is part of what made her so sick and immobile during the whole thing). Then Bella asks to hold her baby girl, Renesmee (kind of not sure how I feel about that name) and the baby bites her neck and Bella's heart stops beating. So Edward uses his vampire venom to heal her and then before you know it it is book three.

Vampire Bella is pretty cool. I love the part about her seeing herself in the mirror for the first time and then going on her first hunt with Edward. I love their little cottage in the woods. And I think that Renesmee's ability to show people what she sees is the perfect talent and she sounds like a cute little girl. (this was the only picture I was able to find that looked anything like she is described. She has brown eyes and curly golden locks and has a healthy glow--and she grows at an incredible rate.) I don't know how I feel about Jacob imprinting on Renesmee, which is what happens as soon as he sees her in Rosalie's arms after realizing that Bella is not the one for him after watching the birth and her death. The whole imprinting thing is kind of creepy. I think it is nice that Jacob found someone he loves more than Bella, and it is fitting that she gave birth to her.

Now the Volturi is coming for Renesmee, having been alerted by Irina, the jilted Denali girlfriend of Laurent, who the Cullen coven and Co. killed just recently. It is against vampire law to have a vampire child because they are crazy and have no self control. All vampire children have to be destroyed--but they don't know that Renesmee is a half breedand therefore has a beating heart and can grow--but also a taste for blood. And Alice and Jasper has left the family, because she knows that her talent is what Aro is truly after. Bella is honing her skills as a shield, which means she has the ability to block other's abilities on herself, but she is now trying to extend the shield to protect those around her. This will help against the Volturi.

So things I like: Jacob as a narrator, Vampire Bella, Hot Vampire love between Edward and Bella, Bella's talent.

Things I don't like and/or feel lukewarm about: Lack of story for Alice and Jasper (this may get better), Rosalie's selfishness, lack of details about the wedding night, Bella getting pregnant, The grossness of Edward biting through the vampire womb, Jacob's imprinting on Renesmee, the name Renesmee.

So overall, I'm impressed but somewhat shocked by the story. Like I said, there is a lot going on, and I love some of it, but some of it is taking some time to adjust to. I will probably mention my feelings after I finish it in a future post, but will probably not devote a whole other post to it.

Let me just say though, Thank God for Stephenie Meyer for bring me hours of happiness and helping me to escape the misery that my work environment can sometimes be!

Have a great day!

Love,

Elle Bunny