Real Housewives of New Jersey Discussion. Talk amongst yourselves about your "bubbies"

If you didn't watch the preview of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" last night that followed the episode of RHONYC, you must watch it now. If you have never watched an episode of any of the Real Housewives shows, start watching now! (Click here to watch the full episode). Because these ladies are crazier than those featured in any other locale. I think based on that preview, they even beat Atlanta (and that's saying a LOT). I wasn't sure how this show would turn out. As one of the Housewives on the show pointed out (who's originally from Las Vegas), New Jersey has a rep for being the armpit of America. I also was wondering if they were going to try and incorporate something from NJ that they would hold in their hand (i.e, in NYC they hold an apple, Atlanta Housewives hold peaches and in the OC they hold oranges). The only thing I could ever come up with was the idea that they would be surrounded by greenery (because they live in the Garden State). Instead they just struck fierce poses with their hands on their hips. Based on the last few minutes of the preview, it appears that there is an all-out cat fight complete with women turning over tables (with glasses of wine on them, no less). I think we can count on this being an entertaining season!

Also, all of these women refer to their breasts as "Bubbies". One of the women wants to get fake bubbies.Her husband is the "construction business" and "an entrepreneur" and according to her, he's more of an ass man, but he says "Happy wife, happy life". She describes her husband as being "in very good shape" and "juicy". When I saw him, all I could think about was this:

The best part is that they had this whole conversation about her bubbies in front of their very young daughters at a public restaurant.

That couple is just the tip of the iceberg. There's a set of sisters who married a set of brothers, another one of the housewives in married to the sisters' brother, and the family business is an event/wedding center. But they saved the best for last. The last crazy housewife bares a striking resemblance to most of the contestants on RuPaul's Drag Race and she seems very concerned with getting some from a much younger guy she met on the internet (whose name she does not know); another one of her priorities is sitting around her mansion and calling her ex-husband to complain about how she hasn't gotten her divorce settlement yet. I guess in the grand tradition of Real Housewives, she is also unable to work.

I love this show so much and it hasn't even started yet. I've always been a sucker for anything related to the Mob (The Sopranos, Goodfellas, Married to the Mob, the Godfather, etc), and while I know this show is not explicitly related to the mob, read this before you tell me I'm stereotyping. I'm already planning a drinking game for this show. Whenever one of the says "bubbies" I will drink a shot. If somebody wears leopard print, I will have a couple sips of an amaretto sour (if I drank more, I have a feeling I might be drunk as a skunk twenty minutes in). If somebody mentions the mob or "sleeping with the fishes", I will down a whole bottle of Grey Goose.

Honestly, compared to these women, the Real Housewives of NYC were a bore last night. The only halfway interesting moment came from Discountess LuAnn Platter

LuAnn sure knows how to sell that book on manners and etiquette. Who wouldn't want to buy a book on manners from a woman who tells a 10 year old girl she's fat? I love the look on that girl's face. She's thinking to herself, "what is this dumb horse telling me? I don't like this woman." Karma's a bitch and after all her going on and on about being a Countess, LuAnn is living her life as A Countess Without A Count . Poor Discountess LuAnn Platter!

Have a great day!

(and if you don't watch the preview for RHONJ, I might shoot you in the face).

Love,

Elle Bunny