Friday, September 26, 2008

Michael K is Friday's Fun Fearless Male!

Nothing makes me happier than reading Michael K's snarky comments at Dlisted.According to Wiki, Michael K, a 28 year old New Yorker, started off blogging semi-anonymously, leaving out his last name because he had a full time job at Dot-com, at which he did much of his blogging. Due to the amazing success of the website, he was able to make enough money through advertising that he could quit his job and work on the site full time. Dlisted is known to receive more than a million hits a day.
I make up about 300 of those hit throughout the day. It is like crack for me.
You might have noticed if you have ever read my blog that I'm kind of obsessed with celebrities and gossip. But nobody delivers it better than MK. He has got snark down to a science. He also has an odd fascination with Phoebe Price, Shauna Sands and Rojo Caliente (this is his nickname for Cynthia Nixon's girlfriend-I honestly have no idea what her real name is at this point. She is just Rojo Caliente to me).
Here are some of my favorite Michael K moments:
From earlier today:
Brit Brit's new song "Womanizer" is here. I know. Couldn't you just poop? I'm sure you've already listened to it 10,000 times, made it your ring tone, choreographed your own dance to it and learned how to play it on your kazoo.
I'm not really addicted to this shit, but I think that's just my subconscious preparing me for the millions upon millions of times I'm going to be forced to listen to this song. I'm going to hear it blasting from a Toyota Tercel while I walk down the street. I'm going to hear it when I'm buying laxatives at Rite-Aid. EVERYWHERE.
While listening to the song, picture Brit Brit dancing around with Chester Cheetah like Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. I can totally imagine Brit Brit chasing Chester around, catching him "womanizing" on her with the Utz Girl and Little Debbie. Those two are SLUTS. "Don't you be woominizin' on me, Chestah!"

From yesterday:
I get that kids get attached to certain toys, dolls and other shit. When I was a kid, I had this Cabbage Patch doll who would never leave my side. Over the years, the doll became dirtier and dirtier. His yarn hair fell out and he probably had snot and drool on every inch of his plastic body. If you put my doll under a microscope, you could probably witness a germ orgy. My mom would always try and get rid of it, but I'd scream and cry if it never left my side. Okay, I wasn't a kid. I was 20. And yes, it still sleeps with me.
Back to Suri. There may be a reason why she's so in love with that busted doll.
Star Magazine reports that Suri doesn't have any little friends, because Tommy Girl and Katie keep her away from other children. A source said that Katie takes Suri to play at a gym...by herself! The source said: "Suri takes a private class in a room in the back of the gym. I have never seen her play with any of the other kids." The source also said that when Suri is around other kids, she doesn't know how to play and she doesn't like share. What kid does?
Okay, that's fine and everything, but can't they get her a prettier doll? That doll needs a Glamour Shots
makeover. And while the doll is at it, it should drag Stepford Katie with it. Homebot is starting to look like Shelley Duvall towards the end of "The Shining."
A Few Weeks Ago:
I know. There's no way Mimi La Rue is the father. First of all, she's not male. Second of all, she's in heaven. Third of all, she would never get near that skanky tramp Kelly Taylor! I just wanted to post her beautiful picture. I miss seeing her cranky face.
So! The father of Kelly Taylor's 4-year-old son will be revealed on "90210" this Tuesday. I'll have to watch it on Wednesday night, because of my Tivo issues. The producer bitches of the show told
People that there's a possibility the daddy will show up on a future episode.
Kelly has already said that she went to high school with the daddy and they have a history. They stopped talking after high school, but did sexy times together 4 years ago and she got knocked up. I knew Kelly didn't use protection. Dirty tramp! Kelly and the daddy haven't had much contact since.
Also, on the first episode, Kelly was on the phone with Brandon Walsh when her kid walked in.
Personally, I'm hoping that it's Nat. He needs a major storyline. But I'm pretty sure it's going to be Brandon. At least, I hope it's Brandon. Dylan has probably spent the last 5 years in a mental hospital because he never got over losing the love of his life....Brenda. Furthermore, why do I care?
While I stew on that question, watch this scene between that fugly whorebag Kelly and the legendary Miss Walsh. All I want is for Brenda to smash that cup over Kelly's stupid head. And I laughed when Brenda said Donna's baby is "cute." Brenda is such a good liar.

These are just a few nuggets from the absolute gold that Michael K writes every day.
Let us celebrate the very clever Michael K!
It is officially Michael K Day in my book!

Love,

Elle Bunny

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You have to send this to him! If you don't want to, I will!