Life's Eternal Questions: The Baby-Sitters Club Edition

I have read every Baby-Sitters Club book at least once. There are some of them that have been read so many times that the covers are taped back on. There are some of them I would never care to read again (I'm talking to you, Kristy & Jessi). I literally have read all of them-I'm talking the regular series, the mysteries, the Super Specials, the Super Mysteries, the California Diaries and the Friends Forever. And I will admit that I still read them on occasion. What? Don't judge. At this point, there can't be any shame in my game-you already know I'm ridiculous when I analyze Twilight and "Beverly Hills, 90210" to the nth degree. The jig is up-I'm officially a nerd.

The books are a comfort. For the same reasons I still love Twilight and "Beverly Hills, 90210". It's something safe and familiar, and in the case of Bev Hills, it reminds me of my childhood. There is something wonderful about the stagnant environment that is Stoneybrook, Connecticut. It is safe. They don't get the chance to grow older and so we never have to see them start dating guys with moustaches or come out of the closet in college (*cough*Kristy*cough*). I like that--to a point. But there are some eternal questions about the BSC that still annoy the ever-loving crap out of me.

1) Did a parent never need a sitter between 5:30-6:00 on Monday, Wednesday and Friday? If so, why the hell not? The parents in Stoneybrook got a babysitter every time they had to go poop.
2) What is the point of getting a sitter to come by and take care of your kid for an hour when you go to a meeting at the school? Bring the kids to the school with you and have them sit outside in the hallway and wait for you. You'll save money and the humiliation of having a 13 year old scold you for not telling them about your child's food allergy.

3) Why was a kid like Karen Brewer seen as "Precocious" (codeword for annoying little shit?) and "Cute" while Jenny Prezzioso is seen as "Prissy" and "Difficult"? Because Jenny likes nice clothes and felt wary of having a new baby sister? I think those are pretty average things for a little girl to do. Unlike, say, a 6 year old girl convincing everyone in your community that your elderly neighbor is a witch named Morbidda Destiny or going to the salon on a cruise boat and charging it to your room without telling your parents. Karen was a little shit and she was only 6 years old. Can you imagine what she would be like at 16? And don't get me started on them calling Jackie Rodowsky the "walking disaster." Those bitches.

4) Everyone goes on and on about Kristy's Great Idea. Which really is just like a Nanny agency, but with younger and less experienced employees. That's right, BSC, you've been had. Kristy stole her great idea.

5) Everyone always goes on and on about how Watson, Kristy's step-dad, is a millionaire. Yet these girls all live in Connecticut, Stacey's dad lives on the Upper West Side in NYC and Dawn's dad lives in a beach front community in Orange County, CA. I doubt Watson Brewer was the only Millionaire in the bunch. I would almost agree with those who say that the reason the club members go on and on about his being a millionaire is because they live in a mansion but I can't. Later on in the series, Abby joined the club and she lived in the same neighborhood in another large house. Nothing is ever said about her mom being a millionaire. You can't convince me Watson was the only millionaire amongst the BSC's parents.
6) What happens when somebody turns 11 that magically prepares them to be a baby-sitter? Because the kids who are one year younger than Mallory and Jessi seem to be pretty high maintenance. So I want to know why these girls are somehow capable of baby-sitting large numbers of kids when they are only a year older (I think I remember one specific instance in which Jessi was left alone overnight with her 9 year old sister Becca and 1 1/2 year old brother Squirt. Who in their right mind would do that?).
7) No one ever gets older. Seriously! It starts to go old after awhile. They just keep starting 8th grade over and over again. No wonder Mallory complained so much about how hard it was to be 11. She was that age for 20 years!
8) What was it that was so revolutionary about a side ponytail? I'm the biggest Claudia Kishi fan in the world, but everyone always go on and on about how "dibble" and "acute" Claudia's style is, but the covers always show her with a damn side pony. I want to see some of the intricate hairstyles they describe in the books.
9) Why don't these parents want to spend anytime with their kids? They seriously want baby-sitters all the time. Worse than that, the girls in the BSC take it upon themselves to give these parents advice about how to raise their children.

10) Don't some people commute from Connecticut to NYC everday for work? If so, then what was the point of the McGill's moving out to Stoneybrook when Ed's job transferred him to Stamford, then within the next year, moving back to NYC when he got transferred BACK and THEN moving back to 'da Brook when her parents went through the big "D" (and I don't mean Dallas or Diabetes). Isn't Stacey's life stressful enough, what with the Beetus? Does she really need to move back and forth three times within the course of a year?

I really do love these books, though. If you having any of the old BSC books laying around, you should try giving them a read, if only for the outfit descriptions. They tend to bring on the lols now, but at 10 years old, I would have given my right arm for Claudia's wardrobe.

Have a great day!

Love,
Elle Bunny