I'm going to paint my front door red and change my name to Elizabeth Arden!

Has anybody else noticed that there have been a lot of fashion faux pas as of late? It seems like every time I turn on E!, some celebrity has gone out with bad hair, a bad dress, bad undergarments (which can ruin an outfit) or bad accessories (to continue the theme, I'll just go ahead and say it: The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize). Maybe they are just trying to get attention/press? They are performers--by definition, they seek out an audience. So today, I will be that audience--I'll be doing my best Fug girl impression and give my thoughts on some of the looks that celebrities have been rocking recently.

Good God, woman! You are so tall and skinny and beautiful and you're walking around with Brad Pitt. Why do you insist on wearing your hair on the side of your head like some kind of half-assed homage to Princess Leia? And the suit is a little too granny if you ask me. She's much younger than Brad, but she's making herself look about 15 years too old for him with this look. Next!

This is what I was talking about with the whole undergarments thing. I love Marisa Tomei, but can't she afford a good bra? I mean, I know she probably didn't get paid much to play a stripper in The Wrestler, but the residual checks from My Cousin Vinny must be pretty nice.

Words of advice: Push-up bra. Lift and separate. Give it a try!

By now you probably know my feelings on Katie Holmes and her ill-fated attempts to recapture her youth and/or start a trend (if not, read this). And while I appreciate the awesomeness of her Blue Steel pose, I will never condone wearing shorts with a scarf and/or stirruped tights. It's just not kosher.

As if I didn't already have enough reasons to hate Miley, she came out of the house looking like this. Perhaps she is taking style tips from Katie, but trying to funk them up like the hip teenager she is? Everything is wrong here-hate the color of the boots, hate the look of the boot, hate the holey tights, hate her shirt, hate the skirt, hate her scraggly hair. And I can honestly say that if somebody else who didn't annoy me as much wore the same thing I would feel the same way. Oh, Renee. This could have been great. I love it from the knee down! But goodness gracious. That hair. The yucky see-through bodice and bad neckline. The too-tight top of the skirt. This was a bad idea. Go back to the boring beige Caroline Herrera dresses.

Drew, you know I love you more than my luggage! But that hair-do is a definite don't. I really like your dress, but this whole look is just a little too cotton candy and hairspray for me. Take it from a Texas Girl, the higher your hair is, the closer God comes to blaming you for the hole in the ozone layer. Oh, and by the way...

Turn to your buddy Cameron and tell her "Get your roots done!" Then turn around and tell Jay-Z and Beyonce to pretend like they aren't bored to tears. Thanks Josie Grossie!

I'd rather walk on my lips than talk bad about somebody, but this is a bad look for Anne Hathaway. She's such a beautiful girl; one of Friday's Fun Fearless females and a very talented actress. I think she would benefit from learning what Mr. Bunny calls the KISS theory-KISS stands for Keep It Simple, Stupid. That's all you have to do Anne.

Carrie couldn't look more like Barbie if she tried. Her extensions look like they came from the Jessica Simpson collection, which I'm assuming wasn't the look she was going for since they seem to hate each other because of stupid Tony Romo. But I digress-you're beautiful Carrie. Don't try so hard.

Now we enter the gold lamé portion of the blog.

They should really change the name of the material to lame. That little accent mark is so freaking pretentious, and lame is a much better word for this. I have a severe reaction to this dress. I think I got hives the first time I saw it. It's just so tacky. It reminds me of something a performer on a cruise would wear. And the neckline seems desperate, not sexy. But JLo always gives good face, so her makeup and hair looked fierce, even if the hair is a little severe. Oh, Glenn. Shopping in the MOB section again, I see. I've never forgiven you for boiling that bunny in Fatal Attraction. This just gives me another reason to dislike you.

Now don't go thinking I forgot about the fellas. They are some of the most horrifying offenders. My goodness. This is really bad. I hate mullets. They look so ridiculous and dated and make men look much older than they are. This is not a good look for Kanye. I'm not even going to comment on the leather gloves.
Joaquin Phoenix: This is your second time appearing on my blog in less than a week. You look more like a homeless person than the homeless people I pass every day on my way to work. Please, take some time off and go relax away from the cameras for awhile. Get your head on straight. And cut the beard.

That is all for now.

What do you think? What do you think were the worst fashion faux pas of the last couple of months?

And I'll give you bonus points if you can name the movie that I've quoted a billion times in this blog rant!

Have a great day!

Love,

Elle Bunny