You might remember some of my feelings on the Duggars if you read my first post about them back in October, Michelle Duggar = bat shit crazy or heavily medicated? In that post I specifically discussed the engagement of Josh Duggar and Anna Kellar. Well they finally showed the wedding on Sunday on TLC, and I think Mer called and/or texted me 4 times about it. I was celebrating my Daddy's birthday that night (happy B-Day Captain!) but thankfully I had DVRd the blessed event.
This is seriously must-watch television. I don't think I have been that entertained by anything on TV since Sophia Petrillo sang her diddy about Medicare.So lets talk about it.
First of all, I thought the little pre-show about the preparation of the wedding was kind of cute even if it was a little annoying. I felt really bad for Anna when I saw her home. It makes me feel better knowing that now she lives in the old Duggar home in Arkansas now. But the whole chaperone thing is just so lame. I love that they assign Josh's sisters to chaperone-the parents are too busy having sex all the time to chaperone anything.
First of all, I thought the little pre-show about the preparation of the wedding was kind of cute even if it was a little annoying. I felt really bad for Anna when I saw her home. It makes me feel better knowing that now she lives in the old Duggar home in Arkansas now. But the whole chaperone thing is just so lame. I love that they assign Josh's sisters to chaperone-the parents are too busy having sex all the time to chaperone anything.
I also have to say that I feel incredibly dirty watching Josh and Anna hold hands. They hold hands and it's like I just watched a really gross drunken make out session between my friend and her boyfriend. I just want to go home and take a shower and erase the image from my brain. Josh and Anna probably hold hands while they brush their teeth (or is that against the rules? Are you not allowed to watch your loved one brush their teeth because the hotness of watching them spit out Crest awakens impure thoughts?).
Anyway, here are my top five memorable moments from the awesomeness that was "A Very Duggar Wedding" (and the episode preceding it).
Anyway, here are my top five memorable moments from the awesomeness that was "A Very Duggar Wedding" (and the episode preceding it).
5) That crazy ass waiter at the "fancy" Italian restaurant. Offering to come and perform tantric dance at a Duggar wedding is made of so much win, it can't be covered in this blog. I also love how Josh described how the Duggars rarely go out to such a nice restaurant, where they "have real glass and silverware and plates." WTF? Sounds like Anna has a lot to look forward to this Valentine's Day.
4) Josh stepping on Anna's dress. The train came off the back of the dress and one the 15 Duggar girls sewed it on in a jiffy and saved the day. That's what happens when you see your husband before the wedding on the day of the wedding. It's bad luck. Don't do it. I can't believe they did everything else SO Uber-traditional and couldn't wait to see each other the day of the wedding because it didn't take place until 6 or 7 in the evening. You've waited this long to kiss. Is it really that important to see each other so you can give each other side hugs and hold hands? I'm certainly not a Duggar, but I'm kind of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings, and waited to see Mr. Bunny until I was walking down the aisle. I'm so glad I waited, because this was the look on his face.
How cute is that?
3) Awkward man to man talk between Jim Bob and Josh. The book and cd cracked me up and I just couldn't get over the fact that this is the first time they've talked about "the birds and the bees". Like, I know that they are super conservative, but wouldn't the kids have figured some of this stuff out considering their parents have 18 kids? I also thoroughly enjoyed how Jim Bob described sex as being "like Legos." I think we know why Michelle can't resist the man; he's such a romantic! Swoon.
2) Anna's hair. All of the girls' hair. We need an intervention. Someone needs to talk to them about the dangers of hair spray and home perms. But couldn't Anna have straightened her hair for the wedding at least? Or maybe she could have gone crazy and put her hair all the way up? I must have missed the passage in the Bible stating that women must wear their hair half up.
1) The entire last five minutes of the show were pure genius. The vows were really creepy and they had all this stuff about how they would have as many children as God intended and wouldn't interfere with nature. Do they really need to talk about that in church? Gross. I haven't heard anything about them being pregnant yet, but I'm sure it's coming.
Okay, sidebar:here's the thing--at least one of the Duggars will most likely have a fertility problem--purely based on statistics; 12 percent of women have problems getting pregnant; with 18 children all getting married and trying to have kids, chances are, at least one of them would have problems. I wonder if their vow not to mess with what God intended extends to that as well? Just out of curiosity, I wonder if they think that people who use fertility treatments to get pregnant (like that hooker Kate Gosselin) are sinners; and furthermore, if they would feel that way if they themselves could not have kids. I myself think there is nothing wrong with fertility treatments, but then again, I'm a sinner who believes in birth control. Getting off soapbox now.
I nearly died when Josh sang the Loyalty song to her. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought it was sweet and kind of Uncle Jesse of him to sing to his wife at the wedding (although I think I would have vomited if the idea had been brought up for my own wedding) but he can't sing. And that song stinks. Then, Jim Bob and Michelle and Anna's parents (who I'm sorry, are just gross and make Jim Bob and Michelle look like the Cleavers) get up on the stage and surround the couple. Jim Bob takes the microphone and talks about how Anna and Josh have never kissed and have stayed pure. Then he is the one who says "Josh, you may kiss your bride."
Okay, I'm going to pull a Zack Morris and say "Time Out!" WTF? The preacher wasn't sufficient? Your Dad had to give your permission? I'm sufficiently grossed out now and I haven't even seen you two kiss.
So then, they kiss. And it's not a bad kiss-it's not a peck. I mean, you don't see tongue or anything (thank God) but it was a nice kiss. Then they went to the reception where there is "No booze, no dancing*, just a good time". Um....that doesn't sound like a good time to me. That's the best part of the reception. The dancing and the drinking. Preferably open bar, but I'm not mad at you if you can't afford it--but for the love of God, have a cash bar. Now, my whole family is Baptist (in fact, I consider myself to be a Baptist) and I went to Baylor my freshman year of college, so trust me, I've heard my fair share about the evils of dancing and drinking. And here is what I have to say about that:
"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp." -- Psalm 149:3
"You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate,that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man,oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart." --Psalm 104:14-15
Sounds like Jesus is still my Homeboy even if I drink. He just doesn't want me to get wasted, and I have to agree with him on that.
Anywho,they eat their chicken salad sandwiches and make their way back to the hotel. The camera crew captures them going through the hotel doors after they pull up in the car which the family had decorated/demolished. They act like cousin Amy is such a sinner--I would have drawn penises and boobs all over that car. Speaking of penises and boobs, when Josh and Anna pulled up in the car, they were listening to the how to have sex cd. LOL.
So, in closing, this man
4) Josh stepping on Anna's dress. The train came off the back of the dress and one the 15 Duggar girls sewed it on in a jiffy and saved the day. That's what happens when you see your husband before the wedding on the day of the wedding. It's bad luck. Don't do it. I can't believe they did everything else SO Uber-traditional and couldn't wait to see each other the day of the wedding because it didn't take place until 6 or 7 in the evening. You've waited this long to kiss. Is it really that important to see each other so you can give each other side hugs and hold hands? I'm certainly not a Duggar, but I'm kind of a traditionalist when it comes to weddings, and waited to see Mr. Bunny until I was walking down the aisle. I'm so glad I waited, because this was the look on his face.
How cute is that?3) Awkward man to man talk between Jim Bob and Josh. The book and cd cracked me up and I just couldn't get over the fact that this is the first time they've talked about "the birds and the bees". Like, I know that they are super conservative, but wouldn't the kids have figured some of this stuff out considering their parents have 18 kids? I also thoroughly enjoyed how Jim Bob described sex as being "like Legos." I think we know why Michelle can't resist the man; he's such a romantic! Swoon.
2) Anna's hair. All of the girls' hair. We need an intervention. Someone needs to talk to them about the dangers of hair spray and home perms. But couldn't Anna have straightened her hair for the wedding at least? Or maybe she could have gone crazy and put her hair all the way up? I must have missed the passage in the Bible stating that women must wear their hair half up.
1) The entire last five minutes of the show were pure genius. The vows were really creepy and they had all this stuff about how they would have as many children as God intended and wouldn't interfere with nature. Do they really need to talk about that in church? Gross. I haven't heard anything about them being pregnant yet, but I'm sure it's coming.
Okay, sidebar:here's the thing--at least one of the Duggars will most likely have a fertility problem--purely based on statistics; 12 percent of women have problems getting pregnant; with 18 children all getting married and trying to have kids, chances are, at least one of them would have problems. I wonder if their vow not to mess with what God intended extends to that as well? Just out of curiosity, I wonder if they think that people who use fertility treatments to get pregnant (like that hooker Kate Gosselin) are sinners; and furthermore, if they would feel that way if they themselves could not have kids. I myself think there is nothing wrong with fertility treatments, but then again, I'm a sinner who believes in birth control. Getting off soapbox now.
I nearly died when Josh sang the Loyalty song to her. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought it was sweet and kind of Uncle Jesse of him to sing to his wife at the wedding (although I think I would have vomited if the idea had been brought up for my own wedding) but he can't sing. And that song stinks. Then, Jim Bob and Michelle and Anna's parents (who I'm sorry, are just gross and make Jim Bob and Michelle look like the Cleavers) get up on the stage and surround the couple. Jim Bob takes the microphone and talks about how Anna and Josh have never kissed and have stayed pure. Then he is the one who says "Josh, you may kiss your bride."
Okay, I'm going to pull a Zack Morris and say "Time Out!" WTF? The preacher wasn't sufficient? Your Dad had to give your permission? I'm sufficiently grossed out now and I haven't even seen you two kiss.
So then, they kiss. And it's not a bad kiss-it's not a peck. I mean, you don't see tongue or anything (thank God) but it was a nice kiss. Then they went to the reception where there is "No booze, no dancing*, just a good time". Um....that doesn't sound like a good time to me. That's the best part of the reception. The dancing and the drinking. Preferably open bar, but I'm not mad at you if you can't afford it--but for the love of God, have a cash bar. Now, my whole family is Baptist (in fact, I consider myself to be a Baptist) and I went to Baylor my freshman year of college, so trust me, I've heard my fair share about the evils of dancing and drinking. And here is what I have to say about that:
"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp." -- Psalm 149:3
"You cause the grass to grow for the livestock and plants for man to cultivate,that he may bring forth food from the earth and wine to gladden the heart of man,oil to make his face shine and bread to strengthen man's heart." --Psalm 104:14-15
Sounds like Jesus is still my Homeboy even if I drink. He just doesn't want me to get wasted, and I have to agree with him on that.
Anywho,they eat their chicken salad sandwiches and make their way back to the hotel. The camera crew captures them going through the hotel doors after they pull up in the car which the family had decorated/demolished. They act like cousin Amy is such a sinner--I would have drawn penises and boobs all over that car. Speaking of penises and boobs, when Josh and Anna pulled up in the car, they were listening to the how to have sex cd. LOL.
So, in closing, this man
is no longer a virgin.I wonder how his parents feel about that?
Me and Mer have decided to send in a show idea to TLC-have normal people like us come stay with the Duggars for the weekend. We can corrupt the kids with tales of shopping for brand-new items (we don't buy used and save the rest like the Duggars; I think between the two of us, we could feed a small country with our shoe budget) and they can teach us how to make Tater-Tot Casserole. It sounds like a winning formula to me.
*So over the weekend, at Mer's birthday party we played a game called Balderdash. If you haven't played it, you have to come up with a legitimate sounding definition for different rare words. Well, the first rare word we got was Dinomania. And Dinomania is defined as an urge to dance. This is my new favorite word, and I would definitely say that I consistently have dinomania. Unfortunately, the Duggars do not have Dinomania. This makes me sad for them.
But at least Josh and Anna are having sex.
Have a great day!
Love,
Elle Bunny
2 comments:
Oh My God! This is by far your best blog ever!!!! I love the Duggars! Yeah for Josh and Anna finally kissing! I'm so glad they can stop holding hands every second of the day. Gross! Did you see how he would rub her hands? I have no words for that.
Thanks Mer! Yeah, the only things grosser than the hand-holding was the hand rubbing. I just re-read this post and realized I used the word gross 4 times in this post--and two times in this comment. I think that is the only word that adequately describes how I feel about the Duggar wedding.
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